Tea Time!

Are you the kind of woman that releases your inner ideas, beliefs and struggles to those close to you? I hope so! Because all that stressing and holding it in, can and will lead to heart disease.

All the unorganized mess in your brain can lead to stress which can lead to many other ailments and illnesses, especially heart disease. And though I don’t think it’s Heart Disease Awareness month, every day is a great damn day to address anything in your life where stress can creep in and steal your joy, or damage your health.

We are all dying from heart disease.

Blacks, Hispanics, Asians and Whites. We are all facing similar struggles as women and are letting those challenges affect our hearts.

What are you willing to do to prevent yourself and the women closest to you from having a heart attack, and/or avoid heart medication when older? 

To limit the chances of being exposed to the number one killer of all women, perhaps it’s time to find someone to confide in.  Your mother, your sister, coworker or a supportive friend. It’s time to open up, and doing so can help save a life.

Let’s talk about it!

Are you happy, sexually? What’s the last item you purchased to please yourself?

Who are you trying to become and how can I help you get there?

Where in your house do you go to get a piece of mind? Is there something in your life you feel is stealing your peace?

Why do you think women suffer from heart disease? What are you willing to do to prevent yourself from being vulnerable to the disease? What steps are you taking to save yourself, and do you really think they’re effective?

What are you struggling to overcome? Why is this a problem? How is it affecting your life or self-esteem?

What do you do that makes you feel at your best, without adding stress, and how can you fit in more of it?

We are always evolving; Are you taking the necessary time to reflect on where you are, and when thinking about it, what areas make you feel stressed, and how are you handling that?

Communication is a powerful and very underestimated tool that is crucial when having those transformative conversations with family and friends.

I promised myself that I am no longer playing passive in my friendships, once I discovered that I no longer want to play passive with myself. I am a priority in my life, and those that I chose to have relationships  with are important to me just the same.

I cannot be a true friend and opt out of asking valuable questions that show my concern and investment in those around me.

Schedule tea time and have those good conversations. Yes, there will be some discomfort, but we are all adults here, and mature adults should be willing and open to speak up on the good and the ugly (with those we confide in, of course).

How to know who you can confide in?

Give someone an opportunity to show up for you by telling them something small and personal. Their response (and the actions that follow) will determine in which ways you can truly lean on them for support.

Don’t hold sh!t in because you think no one is willing to listen. Sometimes, I tell random strangers some deep sh!t just so I can get it off my chest… if the conversation leads to that. And most times, I connect with them more than people I’ve known all my life.

It took me years to learn that it’s ok to be vulnerable, to the right people. Your intuition (if in check), will tell you who you should and shouldn’t trust – who should hear about the pain you feel from your loved-one passing, or who should hear about where you bought a pair of jeans from.

It took me even longer to learn to ask the right questions to get closer, or even distance myself from those that claim to be “for” me, but really weren’t.

I’ve gotten in the habit of asking someone if I can confide in them about something that’s on my mind.  I literally say, “Can I confide in you about something personal?” That triggers them to believe that I’ve decided to open up and place myself in a vulnerable position, and it gives them a chance to meet me where I am or to decline. It also gives me a chance to (again) see how they will handle what I tell them.

But, whoever you talk to, just make sure you keep talking. Get to a point where you are no longer holding back and trying to hide how you truly feel, to avoid feeling weak. Keeping your peace and helping others to theirs is a sign of strength.

Show up and show people who you really are. Like I’ve mentioned before, they’re either for you or they aren’t.

And if it comes down to it, and you find yourself in a position of not being able to confide in those you call family and friends, then I suggest you minimize your time with those people and invest your social money in therapy. 

Secure your peace of mind better than you secure the bag. You can have all the materials things to hide how you feel inside, and go to all the events to avoid feeling lonely, but that will never improve what’s festering in the depths of your heart.

So sit down, put your feet up, and let’s talk about it!

What challenging conversation did you have with a friend just recently?


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