Love on a Woman

It’s TOTALLY girl power today!

Ladies… Sisters!!!


I just recently exchanged some concerning words with a male friend of mine. Through text, I voiced my concerns about the jealousy and envious behavior I’ve received my entire life from other women, and it’s disturbing. I’ve had to build a certain skin because this has been the undertone of most of my female relationships. Family, friends, associates, co-workers, teammates, classmates, church family… wherever I was, wherever I went, there was bound to be some form of female jealousy. Shade from other women has been so inevitable that I’ve grown used to it. It’s now a normal part of my life… or was, until he brought up a great point.

“Females are not team players, smh…”

Out of the many topics I’ve had with this guy, this particular remark is sticking out more than others.

Oh, and I agreed with him by saying, “some females aren’t team players.”

And ladies, women and girls alike, I wish we all were.

Can we just turn off the bullshit that the media, history, and these men are implanting into our genius brains, and love each other as sisters? We have the power.

It has taken me some time to recognize that I too have delve in this inexcusable behavior. Oh, but once I decided to take my power back – to check myself and believe that regardless of how someone else treated me I could STILL do better, my spirit shifted. I started to really pay attention to how alike us women really are.

Aside from societal standards and the billions of sexist attitudes that plagues us, we are each other.

I sh!t and piss like you. I lay down at my O.B.G.Y.N.’s office and get my sacred places examined like you. I get yeast infections like you. I have stubborn cellulite just like you. I have a unique menstrual cycle just like you. I fight to get rest just like you. I battle negative thoughts and burdens just like you. I’ve battled a love / hate relationship with my body just like you. I love and have gotten my heart broken just like you. I’ve been teased for my looks just like you. I’ve had suicidal thoughts just like you. I’ve battled depression and racial injustice just like you. I’ve been exposed to molestation just like you. I’ve been verbally assaulted for turning men down just like you.

The main difference between us is the obvious, surface b.s. that the outside world tries to control, perfect and use to have us compete with each other – instead of focusing on more important matters like; an improved education system for all children, unlawful arrests, crappy abortion laws, disgusting hate crimes, G.M.O. foods, wars and hatred between us and other countries, increasing homelessness, just to name a few.

We already have so much formed against us, let us be for each other. Let us talk with each other, walk together, and hug one another.

Let us stop talking about being there for one another and actually pull another woman up without being concerned about her getting ahead or stealing our shine.

Let us be genuine in our niceness towards each other and set an example for the women coming after us.

We are more than wives and daughters. We are a powerfully unbreakable force when we play on the same team.

When we play life’s game individually, we stay the weaker, more vulnerable beings. But as you have witness, we are more than that.

We are the Michelle Obama’s, Oprah Winfrey’s, Arianna Huffington’s, Beyonce’s, Jessica Alba’s, Marissa Web’s, Anne Wojcicki’s, Rachel Zietz, Mikaila Ulmer’s, Kiran Mazumdar-Shaw’s of the world and more.

We know for certain that the world does not go on without us.

The next time you see another woman walking with her head down, or having trouble with her children in the grocery store, or trying to lose weight at the gym, or struggling for a promotion, or broken hearted over a loss, or ready to throw in the towel in some area of her life, don’t just lift her up, find a way (any way) to make the load just a little lighter… easier.

In some cases, a text as simple as, how are you feeling this morning? or, is there something I can do to help?, or calling to pray together (if they’re open to it), or just listening (without a need to fix things) helps!

Wouldn’t you want someone to do the same for you? And even if not, wouldn’t it be nice if someone just blessed you in that way. Get out of your own head and be another woman’s blessing.

We have been placed on this Earth for each other. You are not as strong as you want to believe without a strong support system and healthy relationships around you.

Step out of your comfort zone and have the tough conversations with your female friends. Live it up with heart to hearts. Listen and be heard. Then, take action.

Don’t tell a woman she’s struggling in her finances – share with her tips and tools to manage them. Don’t tell a woman she needs to stop eating the wrong foods – invite her to cook nutritious foods with you. Don’t tell your friend she’s getting fat – do schedule walking and hiking dates with her. Don’t tell a woman she’s doing terrible at something – do politely show her how to do it better through example, blogs, books, or videos.

Simple improvements go a long way. It’s ok to go the extra mile for another woman once in a while – even if she’s a complete and total stranger.

And keep in mind that though we are one in the same, we respond differently to someone’s observation of us. But do stop holding this as an excuse to not show up to be a blessing to one another.

Let us not only make love to ourselves, but love on each other.

If you truly want to find a way to help a sister-girl out, you will. And, if all else fails, invite someone into her life that you think she’ll be more receptive to. Just don’t stop when it gets challenging. You wouldn’t want someone to give up on you… would you? I’d be happy to accept any free help I can get!

And do; try your hardest to hold your judgments and just be present. We criticize ourselves enough, why must we continue to do this trifling and painful act to each other? I think it’s time we question why we do and continue having these uneasy talks with our sister-friends. Build that bond. Strengthen each other’s core. 

Let’s continue to jump over the hurdles and loosen the traps set to hold us back, keeping us stuck and unconnected.

I sincerely desire to connect with you, and will keep my eyes and ears open for those who share the same sentiments.

Actually, what are you DOING to build another woman up?


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